37

So, this is my birthday week.

It hasn't exactly gone according to plan thus far due to some pneumonia and an RA flair in my dominant hand.

Boo. Hiss. Grr.

Still, a total of 6 shots plus a bunch of oral meds, a few unplanned days off, and a crazy splint for my bum thumb and I am thankfully now on the mend.

And I got some fabulous new hair yesterday:

And it's getting some color work tomorrow morning when I get off of work (for my birthday!) that I am so so stoked about.

More important - yes, even than hairapy :) - is looking forward to a great 38th year.

I really wanted to move my little blog away from writing about my illness - only because I get so tired of dealing with it sometimes and it does not define who I am - but, with the past few weeks bringing plenty of complications of it, there are a few things that are really on my heart: 

 First, it's that it has taught me to slow down and it has given me the time - even when it's time I didn't always want to take - to immerse myself in the Word and books and learning and growing.

And that is a gift.

I've just finished two wonderful books:

First, as I wrote about a few weeks ago, I read Simply Jesus:

And I recommend highly. 

The translation was a new one to me but it reads so well and has wonderful notes with all kinds of  interesting information I did not know.

It is so worthwhile.

Then I read another book called If You Find This Letter, which I also really enjoyed.

Now it's on to the new Jen Hatmaker book and I am very excited about this one!

So sometimes being forced to slow down isn't a bad thing.

Second, I am learning more everyday to just trust God. It sounds simplistic but it isn't.

While we never really control our all of our circumstances, dealing with a chronic illness and a body that does whatever it wants to really teaches a person to do all that they can to make it better but -  beyond that - to pray and lean on God and give it to Him.

He is Good and we can trust Him.

As such, my verse for this year:

And, finally, I've learned that all of this unpleasant stuff can be used for good to help other people when they walk through the same thing.

I saw this from Rick Warren some time ago and it resonated with me:

When I saw it, years ago, I was thinking in the context of God using our past mistakes and spiritual struggles to help others, if we are willing to share them.

And that is totally true.

However, from where I sit now, I also see that it means God using this illness and the struggles that often come with it - because it can be, and often is, a very deep hurt - to shine a light for other people who need to know that they are not alone in the battles they are fighting.

Autoimmune disease sucks.

Cancer sucks.

Diabetes sucks.

In this broken world, there are so many struggles and hurts and, often, when there is not a medical answer, we all just need to know that we are loved and heard and understood.

Maybe that is the gift of my illness.

I can't fix these awful things but I can love my people through them:

Bringing hope is the best gift sometimes.

And, now I'm off to start my birthday weekend.

37, here I come!

I love birthdays and I hope to see another 60 of them.

I still have lots of moments to share with my family and friends and stuff to do and people to love on and patients to take care and rescue dogs to raise. :)

And happy snow weekend to all of my fellow Southerners!

Let's all go eat our milk sandwiches and try not to freeze:

 Stay warm and be well, everybody.

My Brother's Keeper

With the new year, I've been thinking a lot on what is most important for 2016.

Like everybody else, I would love to get in better shape, pay off debt, be 10,000 more organized than I am now, etc.

But that isn't what I mean.

What is MOST important?

And what I kept coming to back to was focusing on loving God and loving my people with all my heart and all my energy.

I am often guilty of getting bogged down in stress and worry and even in guilt over not being able to do as much as I would like to because of my health.

I realize now that to serve God and my people, they aren't needing me up and ready to go mountain climbing.

They just need me, present and attentive.

As I've been thinking, I am also studying the Torah and came across the familiar passage about Cain and Abel, with Cain denying responsibility for his brother, saying, "Am I my brother's keeper?"

 And the answer is "Yes."

In our selfish society, where it is often every man for himself, I am my brother's keeper. That is what God has put us here for: to serve Him by loving each other deeply and well. Apart from that, our lives are empty, wasted, worthless.

As I had been thinking on those things, the newsletter came from Hueytown First United Methodist Church and, on the front, was a lovely passage written by Pastor Dean:

This year, I pray that I can be a sanctuary for God and others.

And, already, some of my people are facing challenges that I cannot wrap my head around yet:

A dear friend from my home church and high school has learned that her husband and her son have cancer. I cannot begin to understand how overwhelmed she is feeling now. And I don't know what to do.

But I do know Who to go to.

Please join me in prayer for the Granberry family. They are walking through a very difficult season.

And let's all go and love our people well this week and always.

Real Talk From A Plague-ish, Tired, If-These-Kids-Don't-Go-Back-To-School-NOW-I'm-Running-Away Mom

Y'all, I try to keep my little blog upbeat.

And write about bible studies and books and ideas and good good things.

But today I am just toast.

Crispy, set off the smoke detector, burnt toast.

See, for starters, our houseful of teenagers have been out of school for almost three weeks now for Christmas break.

Three. Weeks.

Three weeks spent arguing, asking questions, making messes, making noise, tearing through groceries, tearing up the house, and generally doing all the things that teenagers with no schedule for three weeks do to make their parents want to abandon everything, grab the pets, and move to Guam with only the clothes on their backs.

Then my husband and I both got sick. Snotty, achy, nasty, groddy sick.

We are miserable.

Then I worked last night, came home this morning, started a Medrol dosepak for my body pain because my plague is aggravating my RA, and, with the monster dose of steroids, I have been awake all day.

So for about 30 hours now.

With the plague and the too-much-free-time teenagers.

Then I ran to Dollar General, got a flat tire, and my sick husband had to come rescue me - on foot because his car wouldn't start - and change it in the dark in 30 degree weather. 

And then we got home to all three teenagers each separately inquiring about going to the mall tomorrow because "it's their last day out of school."

I am so serious.

So, today my blog is not full of happy ideas or books or verses.

Instead, it is full of snot and ouchies and head pain and the sincere hope that my husband and I can get to our bed with our kleenex and our desnotters, put a movie in, and rest quietly before we have to remove any adolescent noggins.

Usually when I feel bad, I really do focus on a specific bible verse that fits the situation and it helps a lot.

Today I am just too blessed brain fuzzied to even come up with one.

All I've got in my pitiful state is a sincere "Help me, Jesus" and the Dory song from Finding Nemo.

I've been hearing it in my head all evening.

But it's going to be alright for Tuesday is coming soon.

We'll be outside the school at 7 AM, waiting.

Until then, just keep swimming, friends. ;)

Numbering Our Days

My favorite translation of this verse is from The Living Bible: Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should. - Psalm 90:12

On New Year's Eve, something happened that really brought this home to me and got me thinking.

When I got to work at 11:45 PM, I learned that one of my patients died twenty minutes before I got there.

This patient had been quite ill and was ready to go and be with the Lord but it just struck me that she would not be entering 2016 with us on this side.

And so I have been thinking on this Psalm.

Contrary to how it may seem, it is not morbid or dark to remember that our time is limited.

Rather, it is a way to keep in mind that it is a blessing to be setting goals and making plans for 2016, our lives are a gift, and we are to use our time well.

With that in mind, I looked back through my sermon binder from church for notes from a couple of sermons from Pastor Chris in late August and early September on dealing with stress and managing time.

I'm going to share them here for anyone else who also may need to do some restructuring this year.

From his Running My Race sermon, he said:

- It is better to have less of what doesn't matter and more of what does.

- It is better to live by design, not by default.

- It is better to get the right things done, not more things done.

- We should regularly take inventory to see if we are participating in the right activities, make tough decisions, and focus on what matters most.

- In the big picture, God matters, people matter, and eternity matters.

He also mentioned something that I really need to work on: If you learn to say "no," you'll trade popularity for respect.

The following week, he offered a list of five things he tries to do every day:

1. Prayer

2. Read God's word.

3. Show love to family and friends.

4. Make a difference in someone's life.

5. Take care of myself.

Going in to 2016, I plan to use his list of five things for myself each day and work toward better time management for myself and my family.

There are some activities that probably need to go and also some, like helping at the Dream Center and joining a small group, that I hope to add.

I hope this is helpful to someone else too.

Happy New Year, y'all!