Save Me, San Francisco

It's no secret that we have been having one hell of a time trying to help our oldest child recently.

In addition to dealing with serious mental illness, there have been two separate incidents that she reported, one in the fall and one last month, that are currently being investigated by the proper authorities.

As they are under investigation now, I am not going to give any specifics here, except to say that both alleged incidents occurred when she was where she was not supposed to be, with people she was not supposed to be with.

This has added to our frustration as parents, but, as anyone who has parented a strong willed teenager knows, they tend to find a way to do whatever it is they set their minds to.

I won't pretend I know all of her story and I won't attempt to tell it.

I'm just trying to find the truth in all of this.

And my posts are my part of the story.

And, right now, I am just at the end of my rope with it all.

We have to go in a few hours to give a second statement regarding the May episode and I have really been struggling with it.

I have been looking through the phone I confiscated (that she was not supposed to have) and thinking over what I can recall of her behavior that day.

As it happened, it was a special day for her siblings, with a lot of unusual activity, so I remember more than an average "cook dinner, do dishes, get ready for my shift" type of day.

As I've been thinking through everything and praying about it all, so much has been going through my head.

I have already been through this cycle once, talking to attorneys, social workers, police detectives. . .

I already know the questions that will be asked of me, when I talk to them away from her.

I have no idea what she will say for her part.

It is not up to me and I am not asking.

For my part, I have taken a step back and looked at this through the lens of mental health professional myself.

I've remembered all of my own training and really looked over everything.

I've decided that I am going to have to say some things that my child is not going hear well.

It's not going to be pretty.

But it is the right thing to do and it is necessary.

So I will.

And, since my stress level is this high and it is only June 2nd, I am over Summer Break already.

I am ready to load up my husband, the dogs, and even the cat (because y'all know he loves a road trip), smash our cell phones, and drive cross country to the Golden Gate Bridge, taking in all the sights along the way.

We'll head back in time for football season and try again for a better Fall 2016. . . ;)

Sadly, since running away is frowned upon, Plan B is to survive this meeting and get some sleep when I get home so I can pull through the rest of the work week.

Oh, and I am strongly encouraging everyone I gave birth to to go out of their way to make sure it is a peaceful weekend at Hillside Drive.

And next weekend my mother in love and I have a fabulous conference where we get to hear one of my very favorite writers!

It's going to get better.

I know it.

This morning's schedule just really bites.

Be well and have a good rest of the week, y'all!